This is a very important blog post for me. This blog post will decide if you read my blog consistently. If, for some reason, you are required to read my blog, this post will decide if you do it with mounting dread, or with excitement.
Over the past few years, while not being the most acute observer of the human condition, I have noticed that there are generally five different reactions to me. I am the kind of guy who enjoys making jokes, how good they are depends on which of the five people you ask. If you ask the first person about me and my jokes, they will say that I am a funny guy, they genuinely enjoy my jokes, no matter how good or bad they are. I like these people.
The second person will, upon hearing the punch line of my joke will role their eyes and give me judgmental glances to show me how stupid the joke was, but they still give a small chuckle, or crack a small smile at the joke that they find funny, they just don’t want to let me know. That is my favorite reaction to a joke.
There is one of the third person in every crowd. The third person just doesn’t understand the joke. Either they “just didn’t hear the punchline,” or they just don’t get your joke. Once the joke is explained many still don’t get it, but laugh and react similarly to the first person to cover up that fact. If you cant think of one of these people in your friend group that means that you are that person.
The fourth person is the person that gets your joke, and doesn’t laugh. They think it is a stupid joke, and they will let you know that. They may not say anything; mostly they just look at you with a look that very plainly says: “I pity anyone who has to spend time with you every day.” This blog post could decide what kind of person you are.
The fifth person is like the fourth person in that they get my jokes, they just don’t think they are funny. The main difference is that this person laughs. Why? Pity. They see my jokes as a sad cry for affection, and so they give me the pity laugh. The vast majority of people fall into this category. They are just too nice to break my heart by telling me that I’m not funny.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about paperclips. You heard me, paperclips. Why paperclips? I like paperclips. Paperclips have so many uses. They can be used as a staple, to keep pieces of paper together, or they can be used to keep a bag of chips fresh. They can be bent in different ways to fit what you need. They can be used to make small holes in things, or pick locks. You might be saying, oh I get it, it’s like a metaphor, if you got a metaphor from that, please post it in the comments, because I am curious what you thought I was trying to say. My point is that in writing you have to find something you are passionate about. It could even be something as simple as paperclips. Write about something that you care about, because otherwise your writing will be like a broken pencil: pointless.